The Errors Of A Girl Made Through Cooking: Part Three: Am I
Outdated?
Disclaimer: The Phoenix Wright characters are copyright to
Capcom and their female creator. I am copyright myself. McDonalds is
copyrighted to themselves. Xena is copyrighted to its creator. Mortal Combat DS
I believe if it exists, is copyrighted to its creator. If it doesn't exist, I
had fun making it up. Supersize Me is also copyrighted
to its creator. The great David Bowie is copyright himself.
Here are three fun facts:
A. Mortal Combat was released for at least one of Nintendo's
systems which is of course copyright to Nintendo and
Nintendo is copyright to itself.
B. The amount of milk I drink is insane, that is also true.
C. I am
prone to getting extremely scared of extreme violence, yes that is true.
"Where do you suggest we go for burgers Maya?" I
asked.
"How about McDonald's?" Maya asked.
"How about no?" I retorted.
"How about The Hard Rock Cafe?" I asked.
"How old are you?" Maya asked.
"Thirty-four," I answered.
"Sheesh, I'm only nineteen, who would've known you were
so old?" Maya asked.
"Thirty-four is not
old! I'm not even middle-aged!"
I exclaimed.
"Huh?" Maya asked.
"You don't become an adult, until age thirty-five,
we're both still young adults," I said.
And by whatever book it is, you're still an adolescent until you're twenty-one, but I wasn't
about to say that to Maya, it sounds a lot better to refer to us both as
adults----At least it makes me feel better about dating a nineteen year old that is---
"Let's go to The Silver Samurai Cafe," Maya said.
"Okay, I guess," I said.
Anything's better than McDonald's, one of these days I'm
going to rent that horrible old movie and----Nevermind, it'd have no impact whatsoever on Maya---It didn't
on even me, I should know better than
that, what was I doing going into that line of thinking?
We then arrived at The Silver Samurai Cafe.
"Do you think he'll be there signing autographs? Now,
that he has less time since not being on the show," Maya said.
"He is most likely going to become a feature character
on----on----on whatever that show it is that you watch," I said.
"The Pink Warrior Princess," Maya said.
"I still remember Xena
Warrior Princess," I said.
"What?" Maya asked.
"Two please," I told the Maitre'd.
"Isn't it a bit odd
to have a Maitre'd at a burger joint?" Maya asked.
"No more odd than The Silver Samurai VR they have over
there in the corner as if you'd want
to humiliate yourself by having yourself played over a big screen and-," I
started but was immediately interrupted by Maya as we waited to be served who
had looked up from her menu.
"Did you just say Silver Samurai VR?" Maya asked.
"Uhhh," I said.
Crap, how do I get out of this? I thought to myself.
"Let's play it after dinner," Maya said.
"I'm sure it costs a ton, and-," I started but got
cut off by our waiter.
"It's free to anyone who eats here," said our
waiter Rick.
"Crap----I mean great!" I exclaimed
half-heartedly.
"I assume by your idle chit-chat, you guys are
ready," Rick said.
"Actually no and we'd like some more-," I started
but Maya cut me off mid-setence.
"We'll have the Mongo Cheeseburger with two large Dr.
Peppers," Maya said.
"Actually, I was thinking we should have milk you
know----Uhhh for bone stability?" I asked.
"What is it with you and milk? You always drink that at lunch, drink something else for a change," Maya said.
"Okay, but you
have to stay up with me while I'm wired all night long," I said.
"Great! Deal!" Maya exclaimed eagerly.
Goody, I'm guessing she doesn't understand sarcasm either---How
come all I'm seeing in the near future is marriage and adopted kids? Somebody
save me! We're already talking like married people!
Dinner was great. Aside from being told listening to David
Bowie is outdated and watching The Pink Warrior Princess is not. Are we trying to raise a generation of girls who grow up wanting to wear
pink and kill "evil baddies"? One thing's for sure, I'm not watching it due to the violence. We
then headed over to the VR line, where we were headed to the front of the line.
Guess we really appreciate fangirls, and umm people who leave big tips? I felt
I had to, considering what the waiter
must have to put up with most nights---
"Come on Leah, play it," Maya said.
"And risk humiliating myself? I'm a known court
reporter, not a-," I started but the VR helmet was placed onto my head
before I could say anything else.
I assumed Maya had already put on the helmet, since she
stood beside me.
"Ummmm---How violent is this?" I asked.
"No talking, just fight the bad guys," Maya said.
I pulled out a sword from--- Somewhere, and slashed at evil dudes and women dressed like
Samurais. It was just like real-life with the bloodiness and goriness. And when
it was all done----I got the courtesy of being hugged by Maya and having it
appear on a big screen.
"You make a cute couple Leah," Rick who had taken us to the VR station told me.
"Thanks, and I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me when I left my receipt behind
rather than announce my name, I am a court reporter and I cannot let my name be
tarnished by the fact that now
everyone knows I was playing-," I started and I grabbed my receipt but got
kissed by Maya on the lips with a resoundingly loud cheer from The Silver
Samurai fans.
I kissed back, and looked up. I was the loser of the round. Immediately, once I was through err snogging as
the Brits say, I immediately whipped out my ancient
Gameboy DS. Sadly, the only game I had in there was a copy of Mortal Combat DS.
"What is that?" Maya asked looking at the screen.
"Mortal Combat DS," I said.
"No, what's that thing
you're poking at?" Maya asked.
"A Gameboy Double Screen," I said.
"Didn't they stop making those yearsago?" Maya asked.
"I know, I know, I just think it's great to be playing
as a girl who turns into a wolf," I said.
"You should see a real werewolf horror movie with me," Maya said.
"How about no?" I asked.
"God----The violence in that game on the VR was unbelievable," I said.
"You're outdated, but I still think you're great
anyway, you know your house looks kinda messy and if you're going to be up all
night anyway, why don't we clean it?" Maya asked.
"Eek!" I exclaimed.